Aaron Morency

Remember to play

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For some reason I have a reminder set to review this draft post again so I can publish it. Well, my son is now 6 months old and I have no idea what this means or why I set a reminder to publish it, but here it is:

This morning my meditation technique was to visualize a warm beam of light just above the head. If you’re doing it right, the same warm feeling sort of washes over you, from head to toe.

Another recent happening is that we’ve been singing to my 4 month old son. One song goes, “Baby mine when you play, don’t you mind what they say, let those eyes sparkle and shine…”

And here we are now talking and about these two things at once.

Is life about rooting in that warm beam of light while playing in our emotions, thoughts, actions, and state of being? Is it a game? As long as we live in that warming sensation while playing in the world, here we are.

Of course this sounds ridiculous because there is nothing to learn, only to remember. Duh, here we are, let’s play.

The funny thing about stability

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I love logic and routines. It’s so fun to make a plan and then cruise right on down the path just like it was laid out. And then BAM! There’s a cliff.

I hate cliffs. Not like the real ones, those are pretty cool, I’m talking about the psycho-cliffs. The ones that feel real but aren’t, they’re just made up of thought and emotion. Those can be a doozy.

My son was born a few months ago and at times we strive to establish a routine.

Who am I kidding? We are longing to establish a routine for him and for ourselves. The thing is, he’s not having it. Even the slightest bit of consistency and it’s as if he can sense our pleasure and he say, “oh, you think that’s nice? Watch this!” And just like that we’re back to a clean slate, no consistency whatsoever. No anchor, no tiny bit to cling to for hope in getting our lives back.

Actually, I don’t know why I keep lying to you, my son doesn’t talk yet, he’s only a few months old. Regardless, somehow we keep coming back to the complete unknown and all I want is a little prediction and control!

Is that what this whole natural path of having offspring is for? It happens late enough in life for us to establish some habits and routines, think we have our lives in order, and then it just slips right out from under us. Could it be that it’s natures intent?

What is stability anyway? We say “it’s stable” as if we know it wont collapse. But how do we really know? Do we have the ability to go into the future and come back to the present with an undeniable prediction of what will happen?

Life doesn’t work like that. We may feel as if we have control but we don’t. Just like we may set out a fantastic plan with all kinds of detail and everything might work out that way. But it also might not.

As I take this final moment of the month to publish this blog I feel as if my son is teaching me a new lesson: Get comfortable with uncertainty. But really its not his lesson to teach, it just is what it is and that’s what he’s living out. I think it’s that state of being that we forget sometimes. He just hasn’t had a chance to yet.

Determining what comes next: it’s up to you

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As usual, I sit here with a blank screen in front of me wondering, what will this become?

I can remember some of the first experiences with writing like this, it was almost a spiritual practice. I knew that there was a particular zone I wanted to be in because that was where the good words came. I now know that zone to be presence and it’s still sometimes a challenge to be in.

The feeling of being stuck is what immediately comes next. We’re brought up in a society where there is a clear path. “Here, follow this process and we promise, you’re going to have a great life.” Que the end of college and…

… still waiting…

Being in this space is tough. We’re taught to know what the right answer is and worse, what comes next. 3rd grade comes after 2nd, college after high school, retirement after putting in your time. It’s no wonder why we panic at the thought of, “I don’t know.”

Conversely we can be taught to accept the space or even, maybe, be eager for it.

When it’s up to you, it’s up to you, only.

Seth Godin is so kind as to teach us the process in What To Do When It’s Your Turn (And It’s Always Your Turn). But it’s not a “how to” book because it can’t be, it’s more like a map.

With a map you have to first determine where you are and then determine where you’d like to be. From there, you can figure out how to get there. But you have to remember: it’s up to you.

When things get hard, as they inevitably do, our instinct is to ask the teacher (or boss) and that’s where we fail. Art doesn’t happen with permission. Innovation is a product of your genius not some permission based set of guidelines. The map must be analyzed by you and you alone. No other being is qualified to tell you where you are and where you’d like to be and what path you’ll take to get there. It’s up to you.

Settling into this space of uncertainty might feel tough at first, until it doesn’t. Breaking the rules is a part of it. Not listening to others is a part of it. Pretty much the opposite of everything you were taught in school is a part of it.

When you find yourself scared just think, “Ah, I found it, this is the space I’ve been looking for,” and keep working.

Beauty transcends what is known. Let it be, enjoy the ride… send us a postcard.